Talking to Your Parents About Sex

We all have questions about sex. Some are based on curiosity, some are based on fear and some are based on pure anticipation! And though you may no some people your own age who think they have all the answers about sex, they probably don't. To be honest, many adults haven't got it all figured out either.

So, who can you go to for answers? Ever think about talking to your parents about sex? They may not have all the answers, but they're great resources on sex because they have definitely been there - you're living proof of that. And in the rare case that they don't have the answer to your question, there's a good chance they'll know where to find it.

You may be contemplating having sex for the first time, debating back and forth about how to handle your sexual feelings. There are a lot of aspects to consider first. You have to weigh your morals and emotions carefully and then decide what you really want...and remember, the decision is permanent - there's no way to "un-have" sex. And even though your parents may just want to scream "nooo!", it's only because they love you and have your best interests and your health in mind.

In the end, you're old enough to know that, good or bad, you're going to have to live with your decisions. What you choose to do is your call, but it's a good idea to really think it through, and talk to a few people about the way you feel before you decide on anything.

You may feel that your parents' values and attitudes are a bit stricter than your own. You may just chalk this up to "old age," but they may also have some valuable reasons for feeling the way they do. Believe it or not, but questioning authority and the reasons for doing things is a sign that you're growing up. A simple, "because I said so" is usually enough to convince young kids to do something a certain way, but you're older and you need to know why things are done.

But remember, just because you don't necessarily agree with everything your parents have to say, it doesn't automatically mean they're wrong. And you might be surprised just how open your parents are about talking about sex.

Just tell your parents that you want to talk about sex, or try these line to "back into" a conversation about sex:

• "We're going to be talking about sex in school this year, but I don't really know that much about it."
• "We talked about sex in class today. I learned a lot of really interesting things."
• "I heard some kids talking about sex today. They said that...(mention something you want to know about sex)...is that true?"

How To Drive Him Wild

Men are sexually stimulated by visuals. Women are often different in this respect in that they tend to respond more to what they hear and feel. Switching off the light might be a real turnoff for him.
Ask him what he likes. Men are mostly quite straightforward creatures and will respond honestly to a direct question as to what he enjoys – this can be done over a glass of wine, or in the bedroom. Often it is easier to talk about sex if you are not in a sexually-charged situation. It is better to feel a bit silly for a few minutes than to find out, months down the line, that what you have been doing to him is not what he wanted.

Easy does it. Be gentle in your touch. Men can find rough handling very painful, especially initially. Most men enjoy oral sex, but not all of them. Ask before you simply go ahead. And remember, teeth and rings can inflict painful wounds.

Stop/Start A sexual encounter is not a journey on a runaway train. Go slow. It is highly stimulating to slow down sexual stimulation before an orgasm is inevitable, and then to start again. Many men experience more powerful orgasms, when the preceding sexual encounter did not last a mere five minutes.

Gentle caressing of the genitals and nipples is very stimulating to most men. Use your hands, your mouth, or even your own nipples. Ask if he would like a firmer touch – don’t just assume it.

Kissing can be very arousing. Start gently. Explore gently – remember that neither of you is digging a mineshaft with your tongue.

Never underestimate the power of suggestion. Descriptions of what you would like to do to him, have the power of interrupting dinner dates or making someone leave work early.