Ask him what he likes. Men are mostly quite straightforward creatures and will respond honestly to a direct question as to what he enjoys – this can be done over a glass of wine, or in the bedroom. Often it is easier to talk about sex if you are not in a sexually-charged situation. It is better to feel a bit silly for a few minutes than to find out, months down the line, that what you have been doing to him is not what he wanted.
Easy does it. Be gentle in your touch. Men can find rough handling very painful, especially initially. Most men enjoy oral sex, but not all of them. Ask before you simply go ahead. And remember, teeth and rings can inflict painful wounds.
Stop/Start A sexual encounter is not a journey on a runaway train. Go slow. It is highly stimulating to slow down sexual stimulation before an orgasm is inevitable, and then to start again. Many men experience more powerful orgasms, when the preceding sexual encounter did not last a mere five minutes.
Gentle caressing of the genitals and nipples is very stimulating to most men. Use your hands, your mouth, or even your own nipples. Ask if he would like a firmer touch – don’t just assume it.
Kissing can be very arousing. Start gently. Explore gently – remember that neither of you is digging a mineshaft with your tongue.
Never underestimate the power of suggestion. Descriptions of what you would like to do to him, have the power of interrupting dinner dates or making someone leave work early.
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